1.EXT. Pontoon
low angle push track and slow pan along the pontoon and up to child sitting on a crate.
The child has his back to us as he looks out over the water he Is lazily fishing whilst eating an apple and reading a newspaper. Shot begins with kid on left and ends with kid on right side of frame.
2.EXT. Pontoon
Cut to the front of character he dominates the right side of frame as he takes a bite out of his apple, more interested in his apple and newspaper than the fishing rod.
Behind the kid we see an out of focus sail from his submarine.
3.EXT. Pontoon
POV of Kid-
Close shot of the newspaper the kid is reading left side shows an article warning of a terrible monster that lurks in the Deep, the monster attacks without warning and will kill you. There is no hope and it must be killed.
The kid is suddenly attracted to the opposite page which is a full page advert for a photography competition.
1st prize – brand new camera and job as the papers photographer
2nd prize – money
3rd prize – crappy toy
4.EXT. Pontoon
close shot of the kids “wow” reaction to the competition
5.EXT. Water
Intercut the wow reaction with a close up of the kids fishing line. He has a bite but is more interested in the newspaper, so he ignores.
6.EXT. Pontoon
kid is already walking away from his perch, he has barely reeled in his rod and discards his apple over his shoulder and into the water.
The kid proceeds from right to left and out of frame towards his submarine.
7.EXT. Water
low angle shot looking back at pontoon as the kid throws his apple in the air it lands right in front of the camera then floats past camera follows as we turn 180 degrees the weather and sky change sounds change and we now look at an ice berg afloat in the ocean.
The apple is promptly pulled down into the water fade to titles.
8.EXT. Ocean
flash of white over titles fade into pov of a stunned fish.
The fish has just been photographed by the kid and his view is disorientated.
We can see the kid in his diving gear holding a camera as he swims off.
9.EXT. Ocean
stunned fish floats limply in the water then pops back to its normal swimming position as normal. (fish are dumb)
10.EXT. Ocean
kid swims in a barrel roll as a school of fish swim above him in an arc. As he is on his back he takes a photo and the fish scatter.
11.EXT. Ocean
OTS Kid right side dominant.
After his roll the kid now sees an iceberg, the underwater half, and swims towards it transfixed.
12.EXT. Ocean
wide angle of kid at the cave entrance, he is dwarfed by its enormity.
13.EXT. Ocean
close shot of the kids face as he looks up at the giant entrance.
Fog on inside of his helmet.
14.EXT. Ocean
back to 12 wide angle shot the kid musters his courage and enters the ice cave.
15.INT. Ice Cave
wide angle of the interior of the ice cave, greens and blues as the light refracts and diffuses through the ice. The kid swims from left to right diagonally down.
16.INT. Ice Cave
kid swims diagonally on Z axis away from the camera and towards a pale white glowing chamber in the cave.
17.INT. Ice Cave
camera track and pan around the chamber entrance, at the speed of the kid, to reveal a giant sleeping conger eel. The glow is emanating from the eel itself.
18.INT. Ice Cave
close up of the kids face in aww at the sight of the sleeping beast.
19.INT. Ice Cave
kid swims diagonally down toward bottom right of frame approaching on the z axis toward the camera. Fade to 20.
20.INT. Ice Cave
kid is now an arms length from the eel's head he reaches for his camera and slowly takes a photograph. Large white flash.
21.INT. Ice Cave
close shot of the Eel's eye as it snaps open and the pupil dilates from the flash. The eel's markings change from white to orange.
22.INT. Ice Cave
Close shot of the kid as he realises he is in danger.
23.INT. Ice Cave
the kid franticly swims backwards as the eel begins to rear.
Pure terror on the kids face as he turns.
24.INT. Ice Cave
Long shot
kid swims up from right to left towards camera.
Eel swoops in a great arc from its sleeping place up round and near to the kid the kid dodges at the last minute as the eel continues her momentum.
25.INT. Ice Cave
Kid swims to a stop and surveys his surroundings.
26.INT. Ice Cave
POV of Kid looking around.
Kid looks left to right at his environment then to the eel looming in the higher parts of the cavern. He spots a crack on the other side of the chamber and swims for it.
27.INT. Ice Cave
close up showing kids determination.
28.INT. Ice Cave
kid swims into the crack just in time the eel charges down and misses the kid by a fraction. The eel's momentum causes her to slam into the cave floor. Stunning her.
29.INT. Ice Cave
low angle shot looking at the cave ceiling as three stalactite/icicles break from the roof due to the commotion.
30.INT. Ice Cave
Icicle impales the Eel's flipper pinning it to the cave floor.
The Eel tries to get free but cant
31.INT. Ice Cave
kid seizes his opportunity and fleas the scene.
32.INT. Ice Cave
kid swimming up towards camera then we hear a small cry. Child like.
The kid stops and turns to witness a baby eel trying to free its mother but it is impossible. At the sight of this the kid turns to help.
33.INT. Ice Cave
the kid swims back down from left to right and past the Eels head.
34.INT. Ice Cave
kid struggles to lift the icicle, struggles … and then it dislodges.
35.INT. Ice Cave
close shot of the Eel as she lets out a small cry.
36.INT. Ice Cave
shot of the icicle falling the ground showing the freed eel.
37.INT. Ice Cave
Kid is now face to face with the mother eel. He raises his hand to touch her face.
An Almighty ROAR that shakes the cavern.
The kid turns to see what it is fear etched on his face. The mother eel calls to her child to hide.
38.INT. Ice Cave
The Eel gestures to the kid to get on its head.
The kid does so slowly and cautiously.
As soon as the kid is on top the Eel blasts off.
39.INT. Ice Cave
kid slides down the eel to where the sail fin begins he holds on and enjoys the ride.
40.INT. Ice Cave
wide angle shot
the eel blasts through the cave and out into the ocean speed is of the essence.
41.EXT. Ocean
a huge tentacle slaps the side of the iceberg.
42.EXT. Ocean
the kid turns back at the sound of the tentacle. Fear changes to determination.
43.EXT. Ocean
the kid turns and reaches for his camera
44.EXT. Ocean
black space in the watery void #flash# of the camera illuminates a hulking kraken. Which turns at the sight of the light.
45.EXT. Ocean
the eel delivers the kid back to his submarine. Dismounts on the top of his submarine.
46.EXT. Ocean
the eel is looking away from the kid back to the deep, she turns to the kid and nods.
47.EXT. Ocean
the kid standing tall on top of his submarine nods his appreciation and success then slides down inside his submarine.
48.EXT. Pontoon
the kid runs up and opens the paper he is beaming and the audience is able to see the proof of his win through the front page which displays the kid winning a trophy and then next to it the winning photo, that of the kraken.
Wednesday, 22 December 2010
is it "Kraken" or "Kroken"?
so the new character the KRAKEN. he is there as the "Bigger fish" lighting on the fact that there is always some thing bigger. the kraken will be the heightened threat level for the film and will push the eel and kid together. the eel wanting to save the kid due to her maternal instincts and also due to the fact that he had just helped save her.
initial sketch work
new board
the new proposed storyboard.
i took my work into college to show to tutors and group members to get a vibe from them of the new direction.
it all went well it seemed to go down very well indeed, apart from some group members being unhappy over the decision to cut the penguin but to me the relationship between the boy and the eel is more important so the penguin was dropped. Carlos was worried over the scope of the new film and how much work was involved but to me if its gunna be done right then it will always be a lot of work.
so here is the new story board the script is soon to follow.
new beginnings
after a very long day of wrestling with my own thoughts i managed to spew my ideas on to A1 paper and sort them into some form of order.
after doing this i realised that the film was no longer my film it was an amalgamation of advice and ideas from various sources, where i was trying to please everyone's wishes for the film i ended up taking it completely away from where it should have been. i realise now how hard it is to take advice from people without letting it get in the way of the film.
i have come to a conclusion by going back to my original ideas and coming up with a simple yet effective narrative. in effect i am re-telling the story of samson and the lion, re-iterated everywhere eg 10000 bc sabre tooth bit.
i feel that this story will be tough but definitely achievable. but at the end of the day its mine and i wish to make it.
gawsh!
so im once again in a worried mess over this film but there is light as my girlfriend advised me to get everything out of my head and on to paper. this "clearing of the mind" will hopefully allow me to see things exactly how i want them to be but all laid out in front of me together, not in hidden files on a computer screen.
so here's hoping to success....
in a mess again
so where does this leave me now, knowing that my narrative doesnt work i have had a quiet day watching random films on tv.
i decided to sit down and skim the story down to 5 points
beginning, encounter, middle, encounter, end/resolution
this is what i came up with.
i feel this is the beginning of bigger developments but im finding it hard to deviate from what i already have.
presentation after thoughts
ok so the presentation itself was great ben has did a great job putting it all together for me.
the presentation was nicely arranged but concise and gave an opportunity for all group members to have their say.
reaction to the animatic was not what i wanted. for a start there was no sound in the animatic as i literally finished it the night before, so i narrated everything.
there was absolutely no reaction from the audience at all which tells me as a director that there is a lot wrong with the film. i take on board the criticisms of mike and dave, mainly being that the plot was confusing with too much in the light of back story, i.e. the kids father being dead did not work and didnt actually add to the narrative so that will be reconsidered.
i was dissappointed that the animatic did not work but at the same time i am glad that i kow where to improve.
animatic03
i am proud of the changes i have made in this animatic but im still uncertain of the narrative and flow. this is the animatic i will be showing at the presentation.
Tuesday, 21 December 2010
proposed alterations to the current animatic
here are my personal proposed changes to my animatic. after thinking more in-depth about certain aspects i was able to condense the beginning whilst also achieving a solid recognisable ending.
animatic02
so after the rough flip book style animatic i went back in more detail and tweeked bits and bobs as i went along i prefer this story but feel it is too long and the pace in some areas is a little off
Monday, 20 December 2010
animatic01
the story is that the kid ventures outside to photograph the penguin and in doing so is attacked by a giant eel.
the kid drops his camera and the penguin swims after it.
the penguin is then attacked by the eel due to the flash of the camera and then the kid decides to attack.
the kid is interrupted by a baby eel and the realisation hits that the eel is not evil but she is just protecting her baby.
the panic and violence ceases and the penguin and kid swim off happy.
this was a very rough cut and crop job from my scanned board after i produced it i realised the timing was off and the film itself was very rushed. it is also hard for the audience to establish the story.
the kid drops his camera and the penguin swims after it.
the penguin is then attacked by the eel due to the flash of the camera and then the kid decides to attack.
the kid is interrupted by a baby eel and the realisation hits that the eel is not evil but she is just protecting her baby.
the panic and violence ceases and the penguin and kid swim off happy.
this was a very rough cut and crop job from my scanned board after i produced it i realised the timing was off and the film itself was very rushed. it is also hard for the audience to establish the story.
the need for an animatic
with the presentation looming in the next couple of weeks an animatic is needed.
also i am finding myself going round in circles by drawing out simple boards it would help me to see the narrative flow by producing a rough animatic.
also i am finding myself going round in circles by drawing out simple boards it would help me to see the narrative flow by producing a rough animatic.
troubled times!!
losing sleep now not great#!
i really enjoyed these cartoons, the thing that struck me the most was the contradiction in the characters personality with its physicality. this seems to be a good place to start, back to the drawing board.
so the story changes every time i think about it. my girlfriend has advised me to take a step back from the development and look at some original disney cartoons. hopefully a different approach will help to inspire the story.
so i looked at ferdinand the bull and the reluctant dragon.
i really enjoyed these cartoons, the thing that struck me the most was the contradiction in the characters personality with its physicality. this seems to be a good place to start, back to the drawing board.
storyboard
new storyboard some minor changes to the previous one, the story is quite a bit more fleshed out.
new themes
so after consolidating my thoughts i have a new path to think of and thats themes.
so my current themes are that of anti poaching, miss-information of the mass media, father son relationships and coming of age.
there are a lot there especially for a short film but at least they are there to be cut down.
mess
so my head is a mess at the moment i have tooooooooo much going on and cant think straight story wise.
i have the opinions of my group and the tutors, not to mention family. each opinion raises another hole in the script/narrative and the visuals.
it is apparent that the current story needs a lot of work so to do this i have sat down and scribbled away in my bible.
Lars
so lars is the kids hero, he is a sea beast hunter. it is undecided whether or not he could be the kids father. the kid idolises this character and as such would do anything to meet or help this guy.this guy is used to create the situation of the need of proof for the eel so he knows where to hunt him down.
i intend to use posters and photographs of this guy posing with all the beasts he has killed. such as the intro to kung fu panda where the pandas room is a shrine to the furious five.
at the end there will be a flash back that contrasts the original posters and photos and the kid realises that what his hero does is wrong and cruel and he should not help in any way.
comments on post it 2
i like it and it flows but is very bare and lacks pace. the character development is cool although i feel that the kids relationships with other characters such as the penguin and the eel are too weak.
Post it 2
new narative involving the kid photographing the penguin and getting involved with the Eel
in this story the kid comes to terms with life and its dangers and decides that if he collects the reward for his photographs of the eel he will condemn it to death. the kid has a change of heart when he discovers the eel is not really an evil and brutal character and it to has a heart.
Thursday, 2 December 2010
comments on previous
i believe its nearly there and that there are some very strong themes i will have to sit down and go through it twenty times over picking it to pieces before i commit to it though
very rough story outline
1.pov of the kid pinning up a newspaper cutting depicting a smoky picture of the eel and text stating that famous Sea Hunter “Lars Ulriksen” cannot find it and is rewarding people for documented sightings.
2.Pov still the kid pins the newspaper page up on a wall that is covered in pictures and posters of his hero, Lars, with various sea beasts that he has caught.
3.We take a moment to absorb the array of imagery only to be interrupted by a harsh intermittent beep.
4.The kid rushes upstairs to investigate the situation.
5.The kid looks at his sonar to see a solitary dot on the screen he quickly jumps to his periscope and spins on the spot trying to see whats outside.
6.Exterior shot of the ocean, wide angle showing an iceberg dominating the right side of the frame the sub is travelling from left to right.
7.Cut back to the disappointed kid who turns away from the periscope and leans on the desk as he does so a penguin appears at the porthole.
8.The kid smiles then grabs his camera to head outside.
9.Audience gets a close up of the sonar, slow push towards it, it shows the penguin and also a much larger dot?
10.Fade to black with titles
11.the kid is now outside and is swimming down to the penguin.
12.The penguin looks rather jittery but the kid just smiles and raises his camera
13.wide shot kid left penguin right the camera flashes, as this happens a giant eel bursts through the pair and through the shot. On the z axis.
14.Low angle shot looking back up at the characters and the sub, the shot shows the characters reeling from the encounter and the tail of the eel disappearing from frame whilst the camera floats down out of frame.
15.Pov of the penguin noticing the camera falling into the deep
16.close up of penguin determined bolts out of the shot after the camera.
17.Looking down at the penguin as he disappears into the black deep
18.the kid gathers his senses and he is now totally alone, spins on the spot scared
19.interior,helmet, close up of the kid breath on the inside of his helmet scared and jittery looking left and right
20.close up portrait of the kid the glow of the eel can be seen behind him.
21.Sudden flash from below the characters the kid looks down and the glowing shape stops and sharpens its body, attacking pose.
22.Cut to the penguin swimming underneath the camera nudging it skywards with its beak.
23.The eel bolts straight at the penguin
24.penguin sees this then gets scared and swims backwards as he does so he kicks the shutter button causing multiple flashes.
25.As a result the eel is stunned by the flashes and ceases the attack trying to regain its vision.
26.The penguin swims out of danger towards the kid
27.pov of the kid as we see a very young eel approach the giant eel the young/baby eel investigates and then turns to the kid and penguin.
28.The realisation hits home for the kid that the eel is protecting her young and that he would condemn her and her child to death if he provided the photos that were taken
29.he takes the polaroid's from the cameras sheath and looks at them they display in crystal clear qulity the giant eel in a progressive attack.
30.Flashback to the kids wall of photos highlight now on the dead sea creatures, fade back to the kids photos he holds for a moment then chooses to discard the photos into the deep.
31.The kid has chosen to take his own path and discards his hero for the realisation of what he does and how violent it is.
2.Pov still the kid pins the newspaper page up on a wall that is covered in pictures and posters of his hero, Lars, with various sea beasts that he has caught.
3.We take a moment to absorb the array of imagery only to be interrupted by a harsh intermittent beep.
4.The kid rushes upstairs to investigate the situation.
5.The kid looks at his sonar to see a solitary dot on the screen he quickly jumps to his periscope and spins on the spot trying to see whats outside.
6.Exterior shot of the ocean, wide angle showing an iceberg dominating the right side of the frame the sub is travelling from left to right.
7.Cut back to the disappointed kid who turns away from the periscope and leans on the desk as he does so a penguin appears at the porthole.
8.The kid smiles then grabs his camera to head outside.
9.Audience gets a close up of the sonar, slow push towards it, it shows the penguin and also a much larger dot?
10.Fade to black with titles
11.the kid is now outside and is swimming down to the penguin.
12.The penguin looks rather jittery but the kid just smiles and raises his camera
13.wide shot kid left penguin right the camera flashes, as this happens a giant eel bursts through the pair and through the shot. On the z axis.
14.Low angle shot looking back up at the characters and the sub, the shot shows the characters reeling from the encounter and the tail of the eel disappearing from frame whilst the camera floats down out of frame.
15.Pov of the penguin noticing the camera falling into the deep
16.close up of penguin determined bolts out of the shot after the camera.
17.Looking down at the penguin as he disappears into the black deep
18.the kid gathers his senses and he is now totally alone, spins on the spot scared
19.interior,helmet, close up of the kid breath on the inside of his helmet scared and jittery looking left and right
20.close up portrait of the kid the glow of the eel can be seen behind him.
21.Sudden flash from below the characters the kid looks down and the glowing shape stops and sharpens its body, attacking pose.
22.Cut to the penguin swimming underneath the camera nudging it skywards with its beak.
23.The eel bolts straight at the penguin
24.penguin sees this then gets scared and swims backwards as he does so he kicks the shutter button causing multiple flashes.
25.As a result the eel is stunned by the flashes and ceases the attack trying to regain its vision.
26.The penguin swims out of danger towards the kid
27.pov of the kid as we see a very young eel approach the giant eel the young/baby eel investigates and then turns to the kid and penguin.
28.The realisation hits home for the kid that the eel is protecting her young and that he would condemn her and her child to death if he provided the photos that were taken
29.he takes the polaroid's from the cameras sheath and looks at them they display in crystal clear qulity the giant eel in a progressive attack.
30.Flashback to the kids wall of photos highlight now on the dead sea creatures, fade back to the kids photos he holds for a moment then chooses to discard the photos into the deep.
31.The kid has chosen to take his own path and discards his hero for the realisation of what he does and how violent it is.
after thoughts
my after thoughts of the new script directive are that the kid has a hero, a great fisherman who is famous for catching great sea monsters.
the kid is attacked by the eel but it is introduced that the eel has a baby, shes a mummy, the kid has a realisation that if he were to produce the pictures he had then the the eel and its child would be hunted and killed. the change of heart tells the coming of age story and also an independence story. i like the way its going but will push ideas before scripting.
dave bull and Mr mike
i presented the idea for script 03 to dave bull, a rather mixed script as i had more ideas whilst pitching. the idea was liked and enjoyed but the same elements arose, the script lacked an ending and the idea of pain was a definite no.
he suggested many go around's and also elements to provide greater character depth.
such as an introduction of the kid stealing the submarine from his father to help his fathers sight seeing business, the kid goes to locate the mythical eel.
i personally believe this would extend the film way beyond a workable time scale.
there is also the ending suggestions
- the boy gets his picture becomes rich and famous
- the boy doesn't get the picture- boring
- the boy gets the picture but then decides not to keep it.
i liked the idea of the final ending and will push this idea, the eel is not the beast it is claimed to be.
the element of the harpoon gun should be used as a symbol and not as a weapon...
after speaking to mike he too really enjoyed the idea of the eel not being the monster its claimed to be and that by the kid not keeping the photos he would save the beast.
but mike suggested the introduction of another antagonist character to attack the eel and for the kid to somehow save the eel- i believe this is impractical as it introduces a new character to the story.
over all great feedback that is all taken on board and will help to make my film great.
script 03
my personal thoughts on script 03
i believe this is a step forward from the original script but i fear that i have wasted time in the writing of it. i jumped in to the writing too early and after reading it feel it has no meaning and lacks an engaging ending.
the new use of the camera as an element to "capture" the eel i feel is a definite step in the right direction. i like the pull of the penguin to cause the kid to get in to the water. i feel that the suspense part is nice but causes the duration of the film to extend. the ending results in pain and blood shed, albeit not death but this is undesirable.
script draft 03
1.INT. Submarine – Upper deck
Slow track from left to right in the interior of the submarine showing the sofa, table with a camera on top and mounted swordfish. Shot ends with a butchers knife and table in the foreground plus a headless fish, a bucket is on the floor next to it with fish in a similar state.
The light is dim but with a warm glow- homely and inviting.
2.INT. Submarine – Lower deck
Small push into the kid's bed. We see the back of our hero's head and the blanket slowly raising up and down with the motions of his breathing. His boots are on the floor slightly
askew. A puddle on the floor reflects the glow from the over head fairy lights. A large
iron door can be seen to the side of the frame. Above the kids head is a notice board with a series of photographs pinned up.
3.INT. Submarine – Lower deck
Camera track from left to right across the photographs.
The photos simulate the kids path through life as a young fisherman.
1.He has caught his first fish with his dad, a small fish with a small child.
2.The submarine is up on stilts in a warehouse the proud father has just finished building it.
3.The kid sitting on top of the submarine with a fishing rod out in the ocean.
4.The Kid a little bit older now has caught himself a swordfish, he is just able to hold
it. big smile.
5.The last picture is a newspaper clipping of a mythical eel that lurks in the cold north waters. The article discusses whether or not its real and a smoky picture of a shadow in the water is shown next to the text.
A progression can be seen by the audience and the swordfish in the photo links to that of the one in his living room.
Sound effect of the sonar and warning light cut into the scene. Back to reality.
4.INT. Submarine – Lower deck
shot follows from previous
the kid sits bolt upright in bed yawns then rushes out of shot and upstairs.
5.INT. Submarine – Upper deck
Kid rushes to the front portholes and looks out, leaning over the control desk. He cant see anything but the sonar still pings.
6.INT. Submarine – Upper deck
Kid runs along the sofa to look out of the back window but again all he can see is the blue water.
He is about to turn away when a penguin pops up in front of the porthole looking rather relieved but slightly frantic.
The kid smiles and relaxes slightly. He decides this would be a good opportunity to photograph our new acquaintance.
7.INT. Submarine – Upper deck
kid picks his camera up from the table and proceeds down the ladder and out of shot.
Fade to black
title “The Deep”
8.EXT. Submarine
Long shot-
The Kid swims a small distance under the sub to where a small glowing lure hangs from the sub. The green glow casts an eerie feeling.
9.EXT. Submarine
Mid shot-
The Penguin appears near the kid looking rather worried the kid smiles and raises his camera.
10.EXT. Submarine
Close up-
Camera raised to his face the kid is about to take a photo when a low rumble can be heard, it reverberates through the water causing the camera to shake. The kid quickly lowers his camera. Happiness fades to fear.
11.EXT. Submarine
Mid shot-
The penguin swims closer to the kid and both look around for the source of the sound.
12.EXT. Submarine
POV of Kid-
The Camera darts from left to right then back again no sign of anything.
13.EXT. Ocean
POV of Eel-
The camera is focussed on the characters who are trying to locate the Eel.
The movement is smooth almost steady cam but definitely animalistic.
Camera movement from right to left.
14.EXT. Submarine
Close up of penguin-
The penguin looks fearful but then looks to the kid for safety.
When the penguin turns to the kid the audience can see the glow from the Eel in the back ground.
15.EXT. Ocean
POV of Eel-
The Eel has moved around to the rear of the characters, the Eel is directly behind them.
16.EXT. Submarine
Mid Shot – wide angle lens
The Two characters are centre stage surrounded by the glow of the Eels body that's all the audience can see.
17.EXT. Submarine
Mid Shot- slow push in
The Two characters are now back to back we can see the characters from the waist up to head, camera slowly pushes forward. The kid and penguin are worried and act in jerky movements.
The Eel bursts out from behind them the kid and penguin part just in time, although the kid manages to drop his camera in the process but as he does a picture is taken and a small flash emits. The camera sinks.
18.EXT. Submarine
Mid/Long shot-
The Kid and Penguin regroup more frantic now, penguin has got the jitters. And has developed a need to ball his fins in tight.
The Kid looks up towards the submarine.
19.EXT. Submarine
POV of Kid-
We see a Harpoon Gun on the side of the submarine, focal shift.
20.EXT. Submarine
Long Shot-
The Kid swims up towards the submarine and removes the harpoon gun from its hooks.
As he does so there is a roar and the Submarine is rammed by the Eel.
21.EXT. Submarine
Low angle Dutch shot-
The Kid and the is knocked by the submarine and drops the harpoon gun.
The Harpoon gun falls past the camera as the kid is knocked out of frame. The Submarine rolls slightly and recovers its balance.
22.EXT. Ocean
Mid Shot slightly angled down-
The penguin looks on, scared,
23.EXT. Ocean
POV of penguin-
focus shift on to the falling harpoon gun.
24.EXT. Ocean
Mid Shot at character height-
The penguin goes from scared to focussed and bolts after the harpoon gun, out of frame.
25.EXT. Ocean
Mid Shot-
The Kid gathers himself and looks around he is now away from his submarine and cannot see the penguin, light is much darker as he has cascaded deeper.
26.INT. Helmet
Extreme Close up-
Inside the Kids helmet, profile, we can see the kid serious yet fearful.
(possibly rotate head to look past camera as well)
27.EXT. Ocean
Mid Shot-
The Kid realises he has a flare he pats his belt, locates it after two attempts and pulls it up.
28.EXT. Ocean
Long wide shot-
The Kid raises the flare as he lights it. Red jets of bubbles and light emit.
The Eel is darting straight at the kid and again he only just has enough time to move out of the way.
29.EXT. Ocean
stationary shot-
The Eel disappears out of frame from left to right slightly diagonal on the Z-axis.
30.EXT. Ocean
Mid/ Long shot-
The Kid looks flustered again treading water to keep his balance in the water, the penguin enters from the bottom left of the frame holding the harpoon gun in his mouth.
The kid smiles elated to see the penguin, not to mention the harpoon gun.
He takes the gun whilst the Penguin takes the Flare.
31.EXT. Ocean
Mid/ Long shot-
Prepared the two scan the water, both characters are determined but nervous. The Eel is spotted moving towards the characters the glow of the flare displays the Eel's shape.
32.EXT. Ocean
Close shot-
The Kid raises the Harpoon gun ready for the Eel, Determined and focussed.
33.EXT. Ocean
Low Angle shot- camera placed between the kid and penguin
From behind the characters we can see the Eel approaching fast.
The Eel is almost upon our characters.
34.EXT. Ocean
Extreme close up-
Finger squeezes the trigger and the harpoon is away.
35.EXT. Ocean
Mid/Long shot-
The Eel is travelling from right to left of the frame pretty much filling up the screen. With absent space on the left.
The Harpoon strikes the Eel in the face, the Eel wails.
36.EXT. Ocean
Long Shot-
The Force of the Harpoon causes the Eel to corkscrew in pain up and over our characters and then down into the Deep.
37.EXT. Ocean
Mid shot-
Our Characters breathe a sigh of relief and relax slightly the kid places one hand on the shoulder of the penguin and they both proceed to swim out of frame.
Fade to black
Fade in with a Newspaper cutting on the wall showing the kid and penguin back on the mainland with the battered submarine and a the picture that the camera took when it was dropped.
after thoughts
my after thoughts of the new script directive are that the kid has a hero, a great fisherman who is famous for catching great sea monsters.
the kid is attacked by the eel but it is introduced that the eel has a baby, shes a mummy, the kid has a realisation that if he were to produce the pictures he had then the the eel and its child would be hunted and killed. the change of heart tells the coming of age story and also an independence story. i like the way its going but will push ideas before scripting.
dave bull and Mr mike
i presented the idea for script 03 to dave bull, a rather mixed script as i had more ideas whilst pitching. the idea was liked and enjoyed but the same elements arose, the script lacked an ending and the idea of pain was a definite no.
he suggested many go around's and also elements to provide greater character depth.
such as an introduction of the kid stealing the submarine from his father to help his fathers sight seeing business, the kid goes to locate the mythical eel.
i personally believe this would extend the film way beyond a workable time scale.
there is also the ending suggestions
- the boy gets his picture becomes rich and famous
- the boy doesn't get the picture- boring
- the boy gets the picture but then decides not to keep it.
i liked the idea of the final ending and will push this idea, the eel is not the beast it is claimed to be.
the element of the harpoon gun should be used as a symbol and not as a weapon...
after speaking to mike he too really enjoyed the idea of the eel not being the monster its claimed to be and that by the kid not keeping the photos he would save the beast.
but mike suggested the introduction of another antagonist character to attack the eel and for the kid to somehow save the eel- i believe this is impractical as it introduces a new character to the story.
over all great feedback that is all taken on board and will help to make my film great.
after thoughts
my after thoughts of the new script directive are that the kid has a hero, a great fisherman who is famous for catching great sea monsters.
the kid is attacked by the eel but it is introduced that the eel has a baby, shes a mummy, the kid has a realisation that if he were to produce the pictures he had then the the eel and its child would be hunted and killed. the change of heart tells the coming of age story and also an independence story. i like the way its going but will push ideas before scripting.
the kid is attacked by the eel but it is introduced that the eel has a baby, shes a mummy, the kid has a realisation that if he were to produce the pictures he had then the the eel and its child would be hunted and killed. the change of heart tells the coming of age story and also an independence story. i like the way its going but will push ideas before scripting.
he suggested many go around's and also elements to provide greater character depth.
such as an introduction of the kid stealing the submarine from his father to help his fathers sight seeing business, the kid goes to locate the mythical eel.
i personally believe this would extend the film way beyond a workable time scale.
there is also the ending suggestions
- the boy gets his picture becomes rich and famous
- the boy doesn't get the picture- boring
- the boy gets the picture but then decides not to keep it.
i liked the idea of the final ending and will push this idea, the eel is not the beast it is claimed to be.
the element of the harpoon gun should be used as a symbol and not as a weapon...
after speaking to mike he too really enjoyed the idea of the eel not being the monster its claimed to be and that by the kid not keeping the photos he would save the beast.
but mike suggested the introduction of another antagonist character to attack the eel and for the kid to somehow save the eel- i believe this is impractical as it introduces a new character to the story.
over all great feedback that is all taken on board and will help to make my film great.
script 03
my personal thoughts on script 03
i believe this is a step forward from the original script but i fear that i have wasted time in the writing of it. i jumped in to the writing too early and after reading it feel it has no meaning and lacks an engaging ending.
the new use of the camera as an element to "capture" the eel i feel is a definite step in the right direction. i like the pull of the penguin to cause the kid to get in to the water. i feel that the suspense part is nice but causes the duration of the film to extend. the ending results in pain and blood shed, albeit not death but this is undesirable.
i believe this is a step forward from the original script but i fear that i have wasted time in the writing of it. i jumped in to the writing too early and after reading it feel it has no meaning and lacks an engaging ending.
the new use of the camera as an element to "capture" the eel i feel is a definite step in the right direction. i like the pull of the penguin to cause the kid to get in to the water. i feel that the suspense part is nice but causes the duration of the film to extend. the ending results in pain and blood shed, albeit not death but this is undesirable.
Slow track from left to right in the interior of the submarine showing the sofa, table with a camera on top and mounted swordfish. Shot ends with a butchers knife and table in the foreground plus a headless fish, a bucket is on the floor next to it with fish in a similar state.
The light is dim but with a warm glow- homely and inviting.
2.INT. Submarine – Lower deck
Small push into the kid's bed. We see the back of our hero's head and the blanket slowly raising up and down with the motions of his breathing. His boots are on the floor slightly
askew. A puddle on the floor reflects the glow from the over head fairy lights. A large
iron door can be seen to the side of the frame. Above the kids head is a notice board with a series of photographs pinned up.
3.INT. Submarine – Lower deck
Camera track from left to right across the photographs.
The photos simulate the kids path through life as a young fisherman.
1.He has caught his first fish with his dad, a small fish with a small child.
2.The submarine is up on stilts in a warehouse the proud father has just finished building it.
3.The kid sitting on top of the submarine with a fishing rod out in the ocean.
4.The Kid a little bit older now has caught himself a swordfish, he is just able to hold
it. big smile.
5.The last picture is a newspaper clipping of a mythical eel that lurks in the cold north waters. The article discusses whether or not its real and a smoky picture of a shadow in the water is shown next to the text.
A progression can be seen by the audience and the swordfish in the photo links to that of the one in his living room.
Sound effect of the sonar and warning light cut into the scene. Back to reality.
4.INT. Submarine – Lower deck
shot follows from previous
the kid sits bolt upright in bed yawns then rushes out of shot and upstairs.
5.INT. Submarine – Upper deck
Kid rushes to the front portholes and looks out, leaning over the control desk. He cant see anything but the sonar still pings.
6.INT. Submarine – Upper deck
Kid runs along the sofa to look out of the back window but again all he can see is the blue water.
He is about to turn away when a penguin pops up in front of the porthole looking rather relieved but slightly frantic.
The kid smiles and relaxes slightly. He decides this would be a good opportunity to photograph our new acquaintance.
7.INT. Submarine – Upper deck
kid picks his camera up from the table and proceeds down the ladder and out of shot.
Fade to black
title “The Deep”
8.EXT. Submarine
Long shot-
The Kid swims a small distance under the sub to where a small glowing lure hangs from the sub. The green glow casts an eerie feeling.
9.EXT. Submarine
Mid shot-
The Penguin appears near the kid looking rather worried the kid smiles and raises his camera.
10.EXT. Submarine
Close up-
Camera raised to his face the kid is about to take a photo when a low rumble can be heard, it reverberates through the water causing the camera to shake. The kid quickly lowers his camera. Happiness fades to fear.
11.EXT. Submarine
Mid shot-
The penguin swims closer to the kid and both look around for the source of the sound.
12.EXT. Submarine
POV of Kid-
The Camera darts from left to right then back again no sign of anything.
13.EXT. Ocean
POV of Eel-
The camera is focussed on the characters who are trying to locate the Eel.
The movement is smooth almost steady cam but definitely animalistic.
Camera movement from right to left.
14.EXT. Submarine
Close up of penguin-
The penguin looks fearful but then looks to the kid for safety.
When the penguin turns to the kid the audience can see the glow from the Eel in the back ground.
15.EXT. Ocean
POV of Eel-
The Eel has moved around to the rear of the characters, the Eel is directly behind them.
16.EXT. Submarine
Mid Shot – wide angle lens
The Two characters are centre stage surrounded by the glow of the Eels body that's all the audience can see.
17.EXT. Submarine
Mid Shot- slow push in
The Two characters are now back to back we can see the characters from the waist up to head, camera slowly pushes forward. The kid and penguin are worried and act in jerky movements.
The Eel bursts out from behind them the kid and penguin part just in time, although the kid manages to drop his camera in the process but as he does a picture is taken and a small flash emits. The camera sinks.
18.EXT. Submarine
Mid/Long shot-
The Kid and Penguin regroup more frantic now, penguin has got the jitters. And has developed a need to ball his fins in tight.
The Kid looks up towards the submarine.
19.EXT. Submarine
POV of Kid-
We see a Harpoon Gun on the side of the submarine, focal shift.
20.EXT. Submarine
Long Shot-
The Kid swims up towards the submarine and removes the harpoon gun from its hooks.
As he does so there is a roar and the Submarine is rammed by the Eel.
21.EXT. Submarine
Low angle Dutch shot-
The Kid and the is knocked by the submarine and drops the harpoon gun.
The Harpoon gun falls past the camera as the kid is knocked out of frame. The Submarine rolls slightly and recovers its balance.
22.EXT. Ocean
Mid Shot slightly angled down-
The penguin looks on, scared,
23.EXT. Ocean
POV of penguin-
focus shift on to the falling harpoon gun.
24.EXT. Ocean
Mid Shot at character height-
The penguin goes from scared to focussed and bolts after the harpoon gun, out of frame.
25.EXT. Ocean
Mid Shot-
The Kid gathers himself and looks around he is now away from his submarine and cannot see the penguin, light is much darker as he has cascaded deeper.
26.INT. Helmet
Extreme Close up-
Inside the Kids helmet, profile, we can see the kid serious yet fearful.
(possibly rotate head to look past camera as well)
27.EXT. Ocean
Mid Shot-
The Kid realises he has a flare he pats his belt, locates it after two attempts and pulls it up.
28.EXT. Ocean
Long wide shot-
The Kid raises the flare as he lights it. Red jets of bubbles and light emit.
The Eel is darting straight at the kid and again he only just has enough time to move out of the way.
29.EXT. Ocean
stationary shot-
The Eel disappears out of frame from left to right slightly diagonal on the Z-axis.
30.EXT. Ocean
Mid/ Long shot-
The Kid looks flustered again treading water to keep his balance in the water, the penguin enters from the bottom left of the frame holding the harpoon gun in his mouth.
The kid smiles elated to see the penguin, not to mention the harpoon gun.
He takes the gun whilst the Penguin takes the Flare.
31.EXT. Ocean
Mid/ Long shot-
Prepared the two scan the water, both characters are determined but nervous. The Eel is spotted moving towards the characters the glow of the flare displays the Eel's shape.
32.EXT. Ocean
Close shot-
The Kid raises the Harpoon gun ready for the Eel, Determined and focussed.
33.EXT. Ocean
Low Angle shot- camera placed between the kid and penguin
From behind the characters we can see the Eel approaching fast.
The Eel is almost upon our characters.
34.EXT. Ocean
Extreme close up-
Finger squeezes the trigger and the harpoon is away.
35.EXT. Ocean
Mid/Long shot-
The Eel is travelling from right to left of the frame pretty much filling up the screen. With absent space on the left.
The Harpoon strikes the Eel in the face, the Eel wails.
36.EXT. Ocean
Long Shot-
The Force of the Harpoon causes the Eel to corkscrew in pain up and over our characters and then down into the Deep.
37.EXT. Ocean
Mid shot-
Our Characters breathe a sigh of relief and relax slightly the kid places one hand on the shoulder of the penguin and they both proceed to swim out of frame.
Fade to black
Fade in with a Newspaper cutting on the wall showing the kid and penguin back on the mainland with the battered submarine and a the picture that the camera took when it was dropped.
new scripts
so new ideas are floating around to solve the net issue.
1. the net is simply replaced by a big fish and the penguin is chewing on the tail of the fish attached to the submarine. the kid has caught a fish but also the unexpected penguin and as such the physical argument between the kid and penguin causes the interference of the eel.
2. the kid has a big fish on the end of the sub again but this time the kid is hunting for the eel that is out there somewhere. the kid believes he has a snag but it turns out to be the penguin. the eel is attracted and then the hunter becomes the hunted.
3. jaws style the kid and penguin are in the water and a suspense thriller ensues. the kid and penguin are hunted by the eel and majority of the film is built on tension with a mix of pov's from eel and kid resulting in an inevitable clash.
1. the net is simply replaced by a big fish and the penguin is chewing on the tail of the fish attached to the submarine. the kid has caught a fish but also the unexpected penguin and as such the physical argument between the kid and penguin causes the interference of the eel.
2. the kid has a big fish on the end of the sub again but this time the kid is hunting for the eel that is out there somewhere. the kid believes he has a snag but it turns out to be the penguin. the eel is attracted and then the hunter becomes the hunted.
3. jaws style the kid and penguin are in the water and a suspense thriller ensues. the kid and penguin are hunted by the eel and majority of the film is built on tension with a mix of pov's from eel and kid resulting in an inevitable clash.
directing notes
Directing elements
so i have been reading a copy of cinematic storytelling, jennifer van sijll, like the bible recently and it has infused me with various elements which i wish to use within my film.
here is a list of techniques and tech that i wish to emulate in my film:
introduction to characters must be based on ease or discomfort of perception - good character introduced from left to right and and bad vice versa.
depth of field - i want my film to exist on multiple planes i dont want it to appear flat.
focal shift/ rack focus - there are parts in my story where the cameras focus will change midshot to emphasize the action.
scale - the element of the giant eel in comparison to the child and penguin must be infused in the audience but not necessarily straight away.
composition - i wish for my films composition to mean something and as such for each shot to appear to tell a mini story such as a painting.
quick cuts and dissolves
pacing - my film will have a balanced pace with parts that are slow and some wich are fast, so as to keep the audience interested and guessing.
lenses - wide angle and possible telephoto, wide for the establishing shots mainly and then the telephoto for the attacking eel.
close ups - i will use these to escalate the kids fear factor and to show times of decision and thought
POV - these will be important in my film as i will be able to provide the hunter aspect from the eel, such as in jaws, and then to again escalate the fear of the kid as he looks around for the imminent danger.
low angle - there is a shot i have in mind as a low angle shot as it will imply distance and also show the audience that the object has left the characters and must be re-obtained.
shot choices, camera movement--
static shots, tracking shots, circular, push in, pull out
lighting will be key, it will be a mix of warm and cold depending on environment(interior of sub or exterior water). it will also be quite dark and foreboding in some places as well lit only by very small elements of light.
sound effects - the eel will have a distinctive sound, the sonar sound is a plot turner, plus the importance of atmospheric water.
music - i am undecided whether music will be a good idea as it may get in the way of the piece or it could infuse it and make it better, this will be decided through tests in the animatic stage.
these elements are like my personal shopping list and i will be ensuring that a variety of these are used to add spice to my film and as such it wont get stale.
here is a list of techniques and tech that i wish to emulate in my film:
introduction to characters must be based on ease or discomfort of perception - good character introduced from left to right and and bad vice versa.
depth of field - i want my film to exist on multiple planes i dont want it to appear flat.
focal shift/ rack focus - there are parts in my story where the cameras focus will change midshot to emphasize the action.
scale - the element of the giant eel in comparison to the child and penguin must be infused in the audience but not necessarily straight away.
composition - i wish for my films composition to mean something and as such for each shot to appear to tell a mini story such as a painting.
quick cuts and dissolves
pacing - my film will have a balanced pace with parts that are slow and some wich are fast, so as to keep the audience interested and guessing.
lenses - wide angle and possible telephoto, wide for the establishing shots mainly and then the telephoto for the attacking eel.
close ups - i will use these to escalate the kids fear factor and to show times of decision and thought
POV - these will be important in my film as i will be able to provide the hunter aspect from the eel, such as in jaws, and then to again escalate the fear of the kid as he looks around for the imminent danger.
low angle - there is a shot i have in mind as a low angle shot as it will imply distance and also show the audience that the object has left the characters and must be re-obtained.
shot choices, camera movement--
static shots, tracking shots, circular, push in, pull out
lighting will be key, it will be a mix of warm and cold depending on environment(interior of sub or exterior water). it will also be quite dark and foreboding in some places as well lit only by very small elements of light.
sound effects - the eel will have a distinctive sound, the sonar sound is a plot turner, plus the importance of atmospheric water.
music - i am undecided whether music will be a good idea as it may get in the way of the piece or it could infuse it and make it better, this will be decided through tests in the animatic stage.
these elements are like my personal shopping list and i will be ensuring that a variety of these are used to add spice to my film and as such it wont get stale.
Gravity dynamics tests
so after what dan had said i thought about the situation and went online for tutorials, unable to find anything helpful i remembered the use of soft and rigid bodies with an implied gravity field to create a physics based bouncing ball.
i thought of tweeking the gravity options to lower gravity and make the atmosphere thick like water.
tests show the results
these tests show that the dynamics could work and it diffuses the issue of objects passing through each other BUT, in doing so the objects are unable to be animated so the finished product would look fake and stilted, there is very little control over the objects. also when there are multiple objects with dynamics applied maya lags in playback due to the amount of computing, but the render is relatively quick.
so after the tests i have come to the conclusion that dynamics would not be the way forward and that the net of fish has to be struck from the script in order for the film to appear good and finitehows things going
i thought of tweeking the gravity options to lower gravity and make the atmosphere thick like water.
tests show the results
these tests show that the dynamics could work and it diffuses the issue of objects passing through each other BUT, in doing so the objects are unable to be animated so the finished product would look fake and stilted, there is very little control over the objects. also when there are multiple objects with dynamics applied maya lags in playback due to the amount of computing, but the render is relatively quick.
things are all good, my team is working well and creatively i am particularly impressed with fahrans ability to produce a high quality of work very quickly. the rest of the team is functioning well together and production is moving smoothly
i personally have been working on the script and colour script.
we had a meeting with dan the other day which raised the attention of the fish inside the net and how this needed to be tested and addressed early in order for the film to work.
i personally have been working on the script and colour script.
we had a meeting with dan the other day which raised the attention of the fish inside the net and how this needed to be tested and addressed early in order for the film to work.
post it
due to the new college we dont have a set room, this means no permanent display boards, much to my dismay as i work very visually and prefer to see everything laid out in front of me as opposed to looking at individual files on a computer.
so i am advised to produce post it note story boards so i can visualise my narative flow
due to the new college we dont have a set room, this means no permanent display boards, much to my dismay as i work very visually and prefer to see everything laid out in front of me as opposed to looking at individual files on a computer.so i am advised to produce post it note story boards so i can visualise my narative flow
Bios and backgrounds
The World – Terra Aqua
steampunk style
open grassland with sprawling fields and deep cliffs
technology is based on steam, coal, wind, water and very early electricity
reference to the film “Water world”
the world is broken into small archipelago's of islands clustered together (Greek and Caribbean islands)
majority of transport is sea and air
thus connecting trade routes between islands
a world of wood and metal
its an easy world the ruler ship is fair and the populous is virtuous
there are a few rogue pirate islands but they keep themselves to themselves
as the world is heavily water dominated it breeds large fish
The Kid's Island – Agri
a farming island with steep cliffs on one side and a long shelf of sand on the other
the boy chooses to fish as it is different to his island
a large windmill dominates the hilltop
the village is located near the beach with farms stretching the length and width of the island
families rarely move islands and as such the islands consist of tightly nit communities
The Kid – the hero
12 year old
name, no name (kid)
an underwater fisherman
wishes to be up in the stars adventuring the unknown
he fishes to feed his parents on the mainland
he fishes for a week at a time
the submarine means survival!
has a sweetheart waiting for him on the mainland
he is cautious but adventurous
kind hearted
motivation= fish, provide, eat, survive, love
hates= wasting time, the thought of dying, not catching fish
The Deep – a wide gorge situated in Agris' neighbouring waters.
a deep and wide gorge
plentiful supply of fish
secluded fishing spot relatively unknown
no previous knowledge of dangerous fish
but its the ocean so how can one tell
Conger Eel
animalistic, primitive
travels long distances feeding in bulk
there are myths of a large fish that preys on fisherman and their haul, but sightings are brief and nothing is definitive
this myth has been documented in Terra Aqua's lore and is deemed no more than a fisherman's tale
the kid has heard of the tale but disbelieves it
although he appears deadly he eats fish not people/mammals
He gets hounded from island to island by fishermen as he steals their catch
Penguin – Ed
way out of habitat, he drifted down on an iceberg, separated from family and species he is making his way home
he enjoys the warmer climate and decides to stick around
main drive is food
very inquisitive and young/innocent
unable to plan or think ahead he lives for the moment
thus he finds himself in a horde of fish, in a fisherman's net, but he is happy as he has plenty of food
secretly lonely
scared of being hungry and of course dying
steampunk style
open grassland with sprawling fields and deep cliffs
technology is based on steam, coal, wind, water and very early electricity
reference to the film “Water world”
the world is broken into small archipelago's of islands clustered together (Greek and Caribbean islands)
majority of transport is sea and air
thus connecting trade routes between islands
a world of wood and metal
its an easy world the ruler ship is fair and the populous is virtuous
there are a few rogue pirate islands but they keep themselves to themselves
as the world is heavily water dominated it breeds large fish
The Kid's Island – Agri
a farming island with steep cliffs on one side and a long shelf of sand on the other
the boy chooses to fish as it is different to his island
a large windmill dominates the hilltop
the village is located near the beach with farms stretching the length and width of the island
families rarely move islands and as such the islands consist of tightly nit communities
The Kid – the hero
12 year old
name, no name (kid)
an underwater fisherman
wishes to be up in the stars adventuring the unknown
he fishes to feed his parents on the mainland
he fishes for a week at a time
the submarine means survival!
has a sweetheart waiting for him on the mainland
he is cautious but adventurous
kind hearted
motivation= fish, provide, eat, survive, love
hates= wasting time, the thought of dying, not catching fish
The Deep – a wide gorge situated in Agris' neighbouring waters.
a deep and wide gorge
plentiful supply of fish
secluded fishing spot relatively unknown
no previous knowledge of dangerous fish
but its the ocean so how can one tell
Conger Eel
animalistic, primitive
travels long distances feeding in bulk
there are myths of a large fish that preys on fisherman and their haul, but sightings are brief and nothing is definitive
this myth has been documented in Terra Aqua's lore and is deemed no more than a fisherman's tale
the kid has heard of the tale but disbelieves it
although he appears deadly he eats fish not people/mammals
He gets hounded from island to island by fishermen as he steals their catch
Penguin – Ed
way out of habitat, he drifted down on an iceberg, separated from family and species he is making his way home
he enjoys the warmer climate and decides to stick around
main drive is food
very inquisitive and young/innocent
unable to plan or think ahead he lives for the moment
thus he finds himself in a horde of fish, in a fisherman's net, but he is happy as he has plenty of food
secretly lonely
scared of being hungry and of course dying
script02
script draft 02
1.INT. Submarine – Living quarters
The room is full of “nick-nacks” and props, which are necessary for comfortable living, dimly lit by a swinging lamp in the centre of the room but homely.
Track to the right to show table, sofa, and close up of fish on butchers table.
2.INT. Submarine – Sleeping quarters
This room is below the living quarters and is lit by a series of fairy lights attached to the ceiling. A small puddle on the floor glows with the rainbow of lights. The Back wall is dominated by a hefty iron door, evidently the air lock.
Our hero is asleep in his small wooden bed the blanket slowly
rising and falling with deep breaths.
Slow push towards the sleeping character.
(quiet beeping can be heard slightly muffled)
3. INT. Submarine – Sleeping quarters
Close up of a collection of photographs pinned to a notice board above the kids head whilst he is sleeping.
4-6 photos showing his island, each one must be character based, but showing a large part of the environment.
Shot will show photos along the top 2/3rds of the screen whilst the kids
sleeping head is visible in the bottom 1/3rd.
Slow track from left to right focussing on the photographs, the sounds of
the submarine will fade into the sounds of the photographs.
Inferring the kids life on the mainland and also his dreams of longing to be back up there with his friends and family.
The track is interrupted by the harsh beeping of a warning alarm.
4.INT. Submarine – Control Panel
Control panel with assorted dials, buttons, knobs and displays.
A sonar “pings” as it oscillates but this is not the source of the sound.
The source is from a red bulb that is denoted by a sign that simply states “net full”.
Static shot of the red bulb flashing with the sonar in view.
5.INT. Submarine – Sleeping Quarters
Focus on the iron air lock door closing. We can see the back of the character putting on his diving helmet, seen through the porthole in the door.
push in towards door and fade to black.
(clang and creek)
Title “The Deep” dissolve to next scene.
6.EXT. Submarine
A dark emptiness that is somehow all consuming.
Alone.
Faint shards of light break through the murky depths and cast columns of wavering warmth into the chill of the deep.
The fish shaped, wood built submarine is carried by the tide,
its red canvas sail billowing in the absent wind.
A thick warm glow converts the reluctant liquid, seeping from the eyes of the Sub.
The trailing net, now full with fish, entices with green lanterns casting light onto the mostly silhouetted Sub.
Long shot-
The kid swims the length of the Sub, from bow to stern.
He presses a button/lever at the rear of the Sub which rotates the tail of the sub which ties the net off.
He notices a lone fish bone float away, down into the void.
7.EXT. Submarine
Mid/Close shot– Character on right of frame.
Both confused and intrigued the kid proceeds out of frame, towards the net.
8.EXT. Net
The Net is full of tightly packed fish, varying in size and colour.
Mid shot(maybe POV)-
Kid parts the fish in the net and investigates the situation.
9.INT. Net
POV – kid
A chubby little penguin has found his way into the net, munching his way through the kids catch.
The penguin has fashioned an oily throne, out of the abundance of fish and has no intention of leaving.
10.EXT. Net
Mid shot
The kid reaches into the net with little success, his catch is too tightly packed. Frustrated he resorts to muffled shouts.
KID
Stop eating my fish
11.EXT. Fish bone
Mid/close Dutch shot – fish bone follow
looking up from the depths of the ocean, rippling light tickles the distant surface. The under belly of the Sub
silhouetted by waves of fading light. The fish bone plays like a leaf in the wind gliding downward slowly as if drawn by an unearthly force.
(cameras focus is always on the bones and follows it down)
The Fish bone gains some momentum and is whisked into a chasm,
a deep scar on the barren sea bed. Moments later bubbles rise and a low rumble can be heard.
12.EXT. Net
Mid shot-
We join the kid shaking the net and flailing wildly when he suddenly stops.
He backs away from the net, face pale no movement just drifts back ever so slightly.
A look of shock and terror etched on his face.
13.INT. Net
Mid/Close shot-
The penguin laughs and blows a victory raspberry in the direction of the kid.
14.EXT. Net
Long shot (static)- rear of kid looking down past net into the Deep.
A huge glowing shape emanates from the black depths, taking
form as it snakes towards the kid.
The Kid, initially frozen ,in shock at the dominating shape gathers his senses and hastily retreats to the airlock at the bow of the Sub.
15.EXT. Submarine
Mid shot-
The Kid struggles with the hatch loosing his strength, his fear is consuming him.
16.EXT. Net/Submarine
The Eel latches onto the net, but the Eel does not stop and continues his course taking up the slack in the rope attached to the Sub.
(shot will show both the net and the Rear of the sub)
17.INT. Helmet – (EXT. Submarine)
Close up Profile of kids face inside His Diving helmet-
A bead of sweat rolls down his face as his hot breath fogs a small patch of glass. Shock turns to determination as he
decides to save both the penguin and his livelihood.
18.EXT. Submarine
Mid right track along sub slow stop with kid
The Kid swims alongside the Sub and reaches his harpoon gun which is mounted to the side. The gun is rusted and laden with barnacles, aged and disused the harpoon is a long shot but its his only opportunity.
19.EXT. Submarine
Long shot of submarine and Conga eel
We are able to see the size of the Eel for the first time, the massive beast hauling the Sub through the big blue.
Orange light glows from patches on the snaking body, whilst the scales on the upper part of its body are bathed in the crumbling columns of daylight fighting to reach the Deep.
20.EXT. Submarine
Mid shot- character on right of frame looking left now.
The Eel has rotated the sub, which is now being dragged backwards through the water.
The Kid has one foot locked in place on one of the hooks on the hull of the Sub. He moves with the water feeling the motions of the Sub the Eel and the current.
Lining his shot.
21.EXT. Submarine
Close up- kids face (possibly inside helmet again)
One eye shut the moment of truth.
Complete Focus. Shallow breathing.
22.EXT. Submarine
Close up-
finger on trigger 1 second pause,wavering...
Squeeze (swoosh) the harpoon sails through the water.
23.EXT. Submarine
Close up-
The rope is severed by the harpoon.
24.EXT. Eel
Long Shot-
The net unfolds and wraps around the head of the Eel, the net is caught in the multitude of teeth that the Eel has at its disposal. Thrashing wildly trying to dislodge the net and continuing at some speed the Eel collides with a rock wall.
Trapping the head and foremost part of its body in a sharp rut in the rock. Fish from the net lazily float in the aftermath too numb to the situation at hand.
25.EXT. Submarine
Mid shot-
The Sub hangs Limply in the water a small distance from our characters.
The Penguin cowers behind the Kid, shaking with the thought of the preceding events.
A look of exhaustion mixed with slight triumph melts into anger as the kid turns to face the penguin.
26.EXT. Submarine
POV- KID
Penguin unleashes the puppy dog eyes and a solitary tear rolls down his cheek. Until a brain numbed fish floats into shot.
The penguin quickly snatched the fish from the water. Beaming
he presents it to the kid as an offering of friendship.
27.INT. Helmet
Close up profile facing right – kid
a smile creeps across his face which then turns into a raspberry, and then into convulsive laughter.
Fade to Black
The End
Credits roll over a few stills of the kid and the penguin.
Polaroid stills flicking over each other.
Showing their progressive friendship.
The room is full of “nick-nacks” and props, which are necessary for comfortable living, dimly lit by a swinging lamp in the centre of the room but homely.
Track to the right to show table, sofa, and close up of fish on butchers table.
2.INT. Submarine – Sleeping quarters
This room is below the living quarters and is lit by a series of fairy lights attached to the ceiling. A small puddle on the floor glows with the rainbow of lights. The Back wall is dominated by a hefty iron door, evidently the air lock.
Our hero is asleep in his small wooden bed the blanket slowly
rising and falling with deep breaths.
Slow push towards the sleeping character.
(quiet beeping can be heard slightly muffled)
3. INT. Submarine – Sleeping quarters
Close up of a collection of photographs pinned to a notice board above the kids head whilst he is sleeping.
4-6 photos showing his island, each one must be character based, but showing a large part of the environment.
Shot will show photos along the top 2/3rds of the screen whilst the kids
sleeping head is visible in the bottom 1/3rd.
Slow track from left to right focussing on the photographs, the sounds of
the submarine will fade into the sounds of the photographs.
Inferring the kids life on the mainland and also his dreams of longing to be back up there with his friends and family.
The track is interrupted by the harsh beeping of a warning alarm.
4.INT. Submarine – Control Panel
Control panel with assorted dials, buttons, knobs and displays.
A sonar “pings” as it oscillates but this is not the source of the sound.
The source is from a red bulb that is denoted by a sign that simply states “net full”.
Static shot of the red bulb flashing with the sonar in view.
5.INT. Submarine – Sleeping Quarters
Focus on the iron air lock door closing. We can see the back of the character putting on his diving helmet, seen through the porthole in the door.
push in towards door and fade to black.
(clang and creek)
Title “The Deep” dissolve to next scene.
6.EXT. Submarine
A dark emptiness that is somehow all consuming.
Alone.
Faint shards of light break through the murky depths and cast columns of wavering warmth into the chill of the deep.
The fish shaped, wood built submarine is carried by the tide,
its red canvas sail billowing in the absent wind.
A thick warm glow converts the reluctant liquid, seeping from the eyes of the Sub.
The trailing net, now full with fish, entices with green lanterns casting light onto the mostly silhouetted Sub.
Long shot-
The kid swims the length of the Sub, from bow to stern.
He presses a button/lever at the rear of the Sub which rotates the tail of the sub which ties the net off.
He notices a lone fish bone float away, down into the void.
7.EXT. Submarine
Mid/Close shot– Character on right of frame.
Both confused and intrigued the kid proceeds out of frame, towards the net.
8.EXT. Net
The Net is full of tightly packed fish, varying in size and colour.
Mid shot(maybe POV)-
Kid parts the fish in the net and investigates the situation.
9.INT. Net
POV – kid
A chubby little penguin has found his way into the net, munching his way through the kids catch.
The penguin has fashioned an oily throne, out of the abundance of fish and has no intention of leaving.
10.EXT. Net
Mid shot
The kid reaches into the net with little success, his catch is too tightly packed. Frustrated he resorts to muffled shouts.
KID
Stop eating my fish
11.EXT. Fish bone
Mid/close Dutch shot – fish bone follow
looking up from the depths of the ocean, rippling light tickles the distant surface. The under belly of the Sub
silhouetted by waves of fading light. The fish bone plays like a leaf in the wind gliding downward slowly as if drawn by an unearthly force.
(cameras focus is always on the bones and follows it down)
The Fish bone gains some momentum and is whisked into a chasm,
a deep scar on the barren sea bed. Moments later bubbles rise and a low rumble can be heard.
12.EXT. Net
Mid shot-
We join the kid shaking the net and flailing wildly when he suddenly stops.
He backs away from the net, face pale no movement just drifts back ever so slightly.
A look of shock and terror etched on his face.
13.INT. Net
Mid/Close shot-
The penguin laughs and blows a victory raspberry in the direction of the kid.
14.EXT. Net
Long shot (static)- rear of kid looking down past net into the Deep.
A huge glowing shape emanates from the black depths, taking
form as it snakes towards the kid.
The Kid, initially frozen ,in shock at the dominating shape gathers his senses and hastily retreats to the airlock at the bow of the Sub.
15.EXT. Submarine
Mid shot-
The Kid struggles with the hatch loosing his strength, his fear is consuming him.
16.EXT. Net/Submarine
The Eel latches onto the net, but the Eel does not stop and continues his course taking up the slack in the rope attached to the Sub.
(shot will show both the net and the Rear of the sub)
17.INT. Helmet – (EXT. Submarine)
Close up Profile of kids face inside His Diving helmet-
A bead of sweat rolls down his face as his hot breath fogs a small patch of glass. Shock turns to determination as he
decides to save both the penguin and his livelihood.
18.EXT. Submarine
Mid right track along sub slow stop with kid
The Kid swims alongside the Sub and reaches his harpoon gun which is mounted to the side. The gun is rusted and laden with barnacles, aged and disused the harpoon is a long shot but its his only opportunity.
19.EXT. Submarine
Long shot of submarine and Conga eel
We are able to see the size of the Eel for the first time, the massive beast hauling the Sub through the big blue.
Orange light glows from patches on the snaking body, whilst the scales on the upper part of its body are bathed in the crumbling columns of daylight fighting to reach the Deep.
20.EXT. Submarine
Mid shot- character on right of frame looking left now.
The Eel has rotated the sub, which is now being dragged backwards through the water.
The Kid has one foot locked in place on one of the hooks on the hull of the Sub. He moves with the water feeling the motions of the Sub the Eel and the current.
Lining his shot.
21.EXT. Submarine
Close up- kids face (possibly inside helmet again)
One eye shut the moment of truth.
Complete Focus. Shallow breathing.
22.EXT. Submarine
Close up-
finger on trigger 1 second pause,wavering...
Squeeze (swoosh) the harpoon sails through the water.
23.EXT. Submarine
Close up-
The rope is severed by the harpoon.
24.EXT. Eel
Long Shot-
The net unfolds and wraps around the head of the Eel, the net is caught in the multitude of teeth that the Eel has at its disposal. Thrashing wildly trying to dislodge the net and continuing at some speed the Eel collides with a rock wall.
Trapping the head and foremost part of its body in a sharp rut in the rock. Fish from the net lazily float in the aftermath too numb to the situation at hand.
25.EXT. Submarine
Mid shot-
The Sub hangs Limply in the water a small distance from our characters.
The Penguin cowers behind the Kid, shaking with the thought of the preceding events.
A look of exhaustion mixed with slight triumph melts into anger as the kid turns to face the penguin.
26.EXT. Submarine
POV- KID
Penguin unleashes the puppy dog eyes and a solitary tear rolls down his cheek. Until a brain numbed fish floats into shot.
The penguin quickly snatched the fish from the water. Beaming
he presents it to the kid as an offering of friendship.
27.INT. Helmet
Close up profile facing right – kid
a smile creeps across his face which then turns into a raspberry, and then into convulsive laughter.
Fade to Black
The End
Credits roll over a few stills of the kid and the penguin.
Polaroid stills flicking over each other.
Showing their progressive friendship.
sub floor plan
nice and tidy
model sheets for carlos
model reference sheets for carlos' prop modelling
sub floor plan
nice and tidy
model reference sheets for carlos' prop modelling
Kid Development
so a week of design and re-drawing, it took a couple of days for me to realise the character was losing its point so the design was reconsidered.
after watching lost and found, and then the special features it was brought to my attention by one of the studio aka guys that a character with no neck will move like he has broken his neck. this caused me to go through a design wave.
after placing a tiny neck for rigging senses i remembered the kid has a helmet which needed to be designed to its full
helmet is tricky as i dont want to hide the kids face but i didnt want it to be a glass bowl
week1
yay the deep got green lit so now its full steam ahead .....
group members acquired and the week 1 schedule set
key members
ME
BEN
MEL
CARLOS
KEITH
FAHRAN
specialists
CLYM
TOM
EMMA
DAVID
JOSH
group members acquired and the week 1 schedule set
key members
ME
BEN
MEL
CARLOS
KEITH
FAHRAN
specialists
CLYM
TOM
EMMA
DAVID
JOSH
script01
script
INT. Submarine – Living quarters
The room is full of “nick-nacks” and props, which are necessary for comfortable living, dimly lit by a swinging lamp in the centre of the room but homely.
Track to the right to show table, sofa, and close up of fish on butchers table.
INT. Submarine – Sleeping quarters
This room is below the living quarters and is lit by a series of fairy lights attached to the ceiling. A small puddle on the floor glows with the rainbow of lights. The Back wall is dominated by a hefty iron door, evidently the air lock.
Our hero is asleep in his small wooden bed the blanket slowly
rising and falling with deep breaths.
Slow push towards the sleeping character.
(quiet beeping can be heard slightly muffled)
INT. Submarine – Control Panel
Control panel with assorted dials, buttons, knobs and displays.
A sonar “pings” as it oscillates but this is not the source of the sound.
The source is from a red bulb that is denoted by a sign that simply states “net full”.
Static shot of the red bulb flashing with the sonar in view.
4.INT. Submarine – Sleeping Quarters
Focus on the iron air lock door closing. We can see the back of the character putting on his diving helmet, seen through the porthole in the door.
push in towards door and fade to black.
(clang and creek)
Title “The Deep” dissolve to next scene.
5.EXT. Submarine
A dark emptiness that is somehow all consuming.
Alone.
Faint shards of light break through the murky depths and cast columns of wavering warmth into the chill of the deep.
The fish shaped, wood built submarine is carried by the tide,
its red canvas sail billowing in the absent wind.
A thick warm glow converts the reluctant liquid, seeping from the eyes of the Sub.
The trailing net, now full with fish, entices with green lanterns casting light onto the mostly silhouetted Sub.
Long shot-
The kid swims the length of the Sub, from bow to stern.
He presses a button/lever at the rear of the Sub which rotates the tail of the sub which ties the net off.
He notices a lone fish bone float away, down into the void.
6.EXT. Submarine
Mid/Close shot– Character on right of frame.
Both confused and intrigued the kid proceeds out of frame, towards the net.
7.EXT. Net
The Net is full of tightly packed fish, varying in size and colour.
Mid shot(maybe POV)-
Kid parts the fish in the net and investigates the situation.
8.INT. Net
POV – kid
A chubby little penguin has found his way into the net, munching his way through the kids catch.
The penguin has fashioned an oily throne, out of the abundance of fish and has no intention of leaving.
9.EXT. Net
Mid shot
The kid reaches into the net with little success, his catch is too tightly packed. Frustrated he resorts to muffled shouts.
KID
Stop eating my fish
10.EXT. Fish bone
Mid/close Dutch shot – fish bone follow
looking up from the depths of the ocean, rippling light tickles the distant surface. The under belly of the Sub
silhouetted by waves of fading light. The fish bone plays like a leaf in the wind gliding downward slowly as if drawn by an unearthly force.
(cameras focus is always on the bones and follows it down)
The Fish bone gains some momentum and is whisked into a chasm,
a deep scar on the barren sea bed. Moments later bubbles rise and a low rumble can be heard.
11.EXT. Net
Mid shot-
We join the kid shaking the net and flailing wildly when he suddenly stops.
He backs away from the net, face pale no movement just drifts back ever so slightly.
A look of shock and terror etched on his face.
12.INT. Net
Mid/Close shot-
The penguin laughs and blows a victory raspberry in the direction of the kid.
13.EXT. Net
Long shot (static)- rear of kid looking down past net into the Deep.
A huge glowing shape emanates from the black depths, taking
form as it snakes towards the kid.
The Kid, initially frozen ,in shock at the dominating shape gathers his senses and hastily retreats to the airlock at the bow of the Sub.
14.EXT. Submarine
Mid shot-
The Kid struggles with the hatch loosing his strength, his fear is consuming him.
15.EXT. Net/Submarine
The Eel latches onto the net, but the Eel does not stop and continues his course taking up the slack in the rope attached to the Sub.
(shot will show both the net and the Rear of the sub)
16.INT. Helmet – (EXT. Submarine)
Close up Profile of kids face inside His Diving helmet-
A bead of sweat rolls down his face as his hot breath fogs a small patch of glass. Shock turns to determination as he
decides to save both the penguin and his livelihood.
17.EXT. Submarine
Mid right track along sub slow stop with kid
The Kid swims alongside the Sub and reaches his harpoon gun which is mounted to the side. The gun is rusted and laden with barnacles, aged and disused the harpoon is a long shot but its his only opportunity.
18.EXT. Submarine
Long shot of submarine and Conga eel
We are able to see the size of the Eel for the first time, the massive beast hauling the Sub through the big blue.
Orange light glows from patches on the snaking body, whilst the scales on the upper part of its body are bathed in the crumbling columns of daylight fighting to reach the Deep.
19.EXT. Submarine
Mid shot- character on right of frame looking left now.
The Eel has rotated the sub, which is now being dragged backwards through the water.
The Kid has one foot locked in place on one of the hooks on the hull of the Sub. He moves with the water feeling the motions of the Sub the Eel and the current.
Lining his shot.
20.EXT. Submarine
Close up- kids face (possibly inside helmet again)
One eye shut the moment of truth.
Complete Focus. Shallow breathing.
21.EXT. Submarine
Close up-
finger on trigger 1 second pause,wavering...
Squeeze (swoosh) the harpoon sails through the water.
22.EXT. Submarine
Close up-
The rope is severed by the harpoon.
23.EXT. Eel
Long Shot-
The net unfolds and wraps around the head of the Eel, the net is caught in the multitude of teeth that the Eel has at its disposal. Thrashing wildly trying to dislodge the net and continuing at some speed the Eel collides with a rock wall.
Trapping the head and foremost part of its body in a sharp rut in the rock. Fish from the net lazily float in the aftermath too numb to the situation at hand.
24.EXT. Submarine
Mid shot-
The Sub hangs Limply in the water a small distance from our characters.
The Penguin cowers behind the Kid, shaking with the thought of the preceding events.
A look of exhaustion mixed with slight triumph melts into anger as the kid turns to face the penguin.
25.EXT. Submarine
POV- KID
Penguin unleashes the puppy dog eyes and a solitary tear rolls down his cheek. Until a brain numbed fish floats into shot.
The penguin quickly snatched the fish from the water. Beaming
he presents it to the kid as an offering of friendship.
26.INT. Helmet
Close up profile facing right – kid
a smile creeps across his face which then turns into a raspberry, and then into convulsive laughter.
Fade to Black
The End
Credits roll over a few stills of the kid and the penguin.
Polaroid stills flicking over each other.
Showing their progressive friendship.
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